I’m sitting out on a lawn, one of my sisters next to me in her own chair, grass and trees all around us. A huge monarch butterfly, each wing almost 2 feet wide, hovers above me, wanting to land. I resist, sending out a “Don’t come too close!” message. It moves farther away. My sister says “Butterflies mean transformation!”. I reply “If it lands on me it’s going to hurt.”
I’m wondering if I missed a golden opportunity to connect with this magical being. I gather my courage and send vibes to invite it back. It comes closer, then extends its feet like a mosquito about to land and feed, as I brace myself. It doesn’t feel dangerous or like it wants to harm me, just immensely powerful.
It gently and slowly perches on the back of my right hand, one wing edge curled under. From below its body where there’s clearance from my hand, I very carefully poke a finger to nudge the wing edge outward so it will lie flat. I wonder if it has nerves there and can feel pain.
I’m highly aware of the butterfly’s feet touching my skin now below the knuckles, wary. What’s going to happen? It starts to emit some kind of electricity or potion into my hand, making me feel like I’m plugged into a light socket — I can feel the charge travelling from my hand throughout the rest of my body. I stay very still, in a high state of tension, telling my sister “It hurts! It hurts! It hurts!”.
Finally I’ve had enough. I wonder if I could have managed not to resist, if it would have been less intense and I could have lasted longer, gotten a bigger dose of whatever it was. I gently lift my hand and slowly flick it, causing the butterfly to leave me and fly to the woods at the edge of the yard.
I wake up in awe, feeling like I’ve just been visited by an extraterrestrial with skills and intelligence way beyond mine. Will I ever see it again? If it brought me a gift, was I ungrateful in wanting it to leave prematurely? Last night I got home from 2 intense back-to-back trainings, the first a coaching mastermind and the 2nd on trauma. I heard many presentations and stories there about pain and growth.
So I’m tentatively thinking this dream means I myself had a transformation. Unfolding the wing makes me think of my clients and fellow energy students, that as one heals we all heal, and we’re all healing each other — everyone is connected.
I’m interested in the fierce electric pain surging through me, and my reaction of bearing it for as long as I could, knowing at some level it was good for me. What is this saying about me, and my approach to my own healing? Yes, I can endure a lot of discomfort, and I have a strong sense about what’s best for me. And maybe I’ll try to fight it less, and invite it more!